Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I Can't Take Anymore

It all started a year or so ago.  I was realizing how truly fast time was flying right by me, even more than ever.  One day Callie brought it to my attention that she needed a razor and deoderant.  Really?  You're kidding me!  So off to Wal-Mart we went.  I actually had tears in my eyes at Wal-mart!  She laughed at me.  Then, a few months later, she was picking out some of her picture books to get rid of and putting her beloved "baby Sarah" away in a box.  "I don't want to get rid of her, but I don't want her on my bed anymore."  This was huge!  'Baby Sarah' and reading were Callie's whole world at one point.  I used to worry that she was only interested in two things.  More lumps in my throat.

This spring my eleven year old daughter is just a teeny tiny bit taller than me.  I'm 5' 6 1/2"!  I'm not short.  This is not supposed to happen already.  This is what happens to mom's of teenagers, I have more time.

I've always loved babies and toddlers!  I could feed and diaper and play and read to them all day and be perfectly happy.  But big kids?  I'm not so sure about this growing up.  I didn't think it would happen so fast.  People told me it would and I got sick of hearing it.  I was totally enjoying her as a baby and toddler, I didn't need everyone to tell me to. 

Now, I'm knee deep in research for 6th grade and thinking ahead to Junior High.  Just typing those words makes me want to cry, to run away and find a time machine.

My head knows this is how it is suppose to be.  God didn't intend for us to stay babies forever.  I can only imagine how awful it would be if Callie were not strong and healthy and growing and maturing.  My heart doesn't quite see it that way though.  Some days are hard with a creative pre-teen and a sometimes demanding five year old.  I think "I can't do this!  I can't take anymore!"  And then this little song pops in my head "I can do all things, all things, all things.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Phillipians 4:13"  We sing and say it a lot around here.

I'm so thankful for the time that we have had.  I'm so thankful I have a husband that wanted us to homeschool. Even when she was a baby he talked about it.  I thought he was nuts.  I probably told him flat out, "No way.  Homeschoolers are wierd."

I'm thankful to be wierd.


  1. I'm so with you!!! Lately I've been hugging my kids and begging them not to grow anymore. I'd be perfectly happy staying at ages 12 & 5. Slow down, time!!!! And a confession: I want to have another little one. How about you? :)

    I didn't know you didn't want to homeschool! As you know, I didn't either, but so happy to be weird now! :)

  2. I was talking to a homeschool mom recently whose 2 daughters are now 23 and 19. She said that yes, the time did fly by, but she has peace knowing she spent as much time as she possibly could with them during their growing up years. Yet another benefit of homeschooling. (And you can include me in the group who thought "no way" about homeschooling at first!)

  3. I have loved (still do) the sweetness of their baby and little years, too, Sharron. But - really the maturing friendships I have with the older 2 now in their teen years ... it's even better than I hoped.
    Friendship with your daughters is going to be a treasure you'll have for the rest of your lives. You don't grow out of it - just more and more into it.